“Dead Man’s Goals” is a concept which was popularised by Dr Thomas Gordon (1918-2002), a prominent American clinical psychologist and pioneer in the fields of communication skills training and conflict resolution.
This goal-setting theory focuses on what not to do (passive) rather than what to do (active). Dr Gordon highlighted the importance of setting active, positive goals that are achievable and actionable.
The idea is simple: a ”dead man’s goal” is anything that a dead person could do better than a living one. The theory is that there are goals that involve not doing something rather than engaging in active behaviour. Dead man’s goals are inherently unachievable for a living person because they require the absence of action.
Examples of Dead Man’s Goals
- Not getting angry – This is something a dead person excels at because they don’t have emotions.
- Not eating junk food – A dead person doesn’t eat anything at all.
- Not drinking alcohol – A dead person doesn’t drink anything at all.
- Not smoking – A dead person doesn’t smoke because they don’t have the capacity to perform the action.
- Not procrastinating – A dead person can’t procrastinate because they can’t do anything.
Transforming Dead Man’s Goals into Active Goals
To make goals more effective, they should be active and positively framed. Here are some strategies to convert dead man’s goals into active goals.
Focus on Positive Actions: Instead of what you want to avoid, think about what positive actions you will take.
- Not getting angry – “Practice staying calm and composed”.
- Not eating junk food – “Eat a healthy snack or meal”.
- Not drinking alcohol – “When I feel I need an alcoholic drink, pour a glass of water or fruit juice instead”
- Not smoking – “Engage in a healthy activity like going for a walk or chewing gum when I feel the urge to smoke”.
- Not procrastinating – “Spend 30 minutes working on my project each day”.
Specific and Measurable: Ensure that these goals are specific and measurable. This will make it much easier to track your progress and to stay motivated.
These positive actions can become more specific to help you to stay motivated.
“Practice staying calm and composed” can become “Take three deep breaths and count to ten when I feel angry”.
“Eat a healthy snack or meal” can become “Have a piece of fruit every afternoon”.
“Engage in a healthy activity like going for a walk when I feel the urge to smoke” can become “Go for a 10-minute walk whenever I feel the urge to smoke.”
Achievable and Realistic: Goals should be realistic given your current resources and circumstances. Try not to set overly ambitious goals which can lead to discouragement and failure.
Timely: Set a clear timeframe for achieving your goals.
Examples of Transformation
Dead Man’s Goal: “I don’t want to smoke”.
Active Goal: “I will go for a 10-minute walk whenever I feel the urge to smoke”.
Dead Man’s Goal: “I don’t want to eat junk food”.
Active Goal: “I will have a piece of fruit every afternoon instead of a chocolate bar”.
By transforming dead man’s goals into active, positive, and achievable goals, you create a more motivating and actionable plan for personal growth and behaviour change.
